Ashes

There were a few Ash Wednesdays, when I was a child, when I would be embarrassed of the ashes smeared on my forehead.  The big black mark branding me Catholic.  I felt as if I was exposed and different from everyone else.  I wouldn't dare touch them though.  I was afraid to rub them off because I knew they were important and I knew that God, along with other people in my life, would disapprove.  Well, I have learned a lot in the past few months.  Beginning college has been an eye opener on so many levels and, looking back, I think that I always took faith for granted.  It just co-existed with me, walking along the same path side-by-side without ever holding hands.  I have realized that being a Catholic means so much more to me than I ever thought it would.  My senior year in high school, my religion teacher said, "Show of hands, who knows that God is a part of their identity."  I raised my hand, yet in the back of my mind there was a gnawing doubt.  I didn't really know if God was a part of my identity, I just thought that He was.  Well, now I know.  In dark times He was my light and I have asked and received.  He is a part of me and I hope to express that part of me each and every day of my life.  Today, I will be receiving ashes.  I hope the mark is dark and distracting.  And I hope people ask why I have a mark on my forehead, so I can tell them how it identifies me and how proud I am to wear it.