Always read before you sign

Extra credit is available for students who are willing to offer their time as participants in experiments run by other students in the Psychology department.  So, capitalizing on the offer of extra credit for one of my classes, I signed up for an experiment without really knowing what it was about-- mistake #1.  I signed the informed consent form and then sat behind a computer screen.  The experimenter told me I had to press letters "z" and "p" on a keyboard in order to get coins to drop into a box on the computer screen.  So I sat there idiotically, pressing the z and p keys for an hour.  I tried figuring out some sort of pattern between the two keys to get the coins to drop faster but I couldn't figure it out.  Out of frustration, I complained to the experimenter.  "At least you don't have to do this all day like the test pigeons!"  he replied.  Great.  A pigeon can do this and I am sitting her tapping buttons wondering why the coins aren't coming down faster.  At the end of the experiment I asked the experimenter what the purpose of the experiment was, but he wouldn't tell me.  Turns out, I had mistakenly signed up for a two day experiment.  Next week, I have another hour long date with a computer program made for pigeons... lucky me.      

Sigh of relief

Sometimes, I look forward to an empty room.  Walking in, throwing my keys on the table, and then jumping on my bed.  I'll just lie there and think.  I don't need to worry about people watching me or wondering why I wasn't in the midst of something more productive.  So as much as I enjoy sharing stories, listening to others' days, or wandering around the floor, sometimes its nice to just relax, throw my head back, and watch the minutes on the micro fridge beautifully tick by. 

Hello Spring!

Spring break is officially over and I am back at college.  I am thrilled to be back but exhausted from my trip and settling back into the dorm.  I can't believe there is only two months left before I am off for summer.  I am usually counting down the days, but not so much this year.  I am hoping spring drags on so I can hold on to freshman year a little while longer.   

Lost

Our 5 hour trip to Maryland this weekend was full of adventure.  We got horribly lost on the way, losing our bearing on all sense of direction.  We just laughed it off and made many U-turns.  I always factor in "getting lost time" because I know that it wouldn't be a true road trip if we don't lose our way at least once.  We got to our destination eventually, however.  And our reward for finding our way?  Seeing larger than life sights in Washington D.C. and spending some time with great company!  Well worth throwing the Mapquest directions out the window on Route I-97.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I hope everyone is celebrating with corned beef and cabbage today!  Every St. Patrick's day I make my sister teach me a set of steps from one of her Irish step dancing routines.  However, this year I never got the chance to re-learn the same old moves because I went to see some Irish step dancers in action!  Today was my first time in New York City for the St. Patrick's Day parade and it was a giant green madhouse.  We walked for blocks and blocks until we met up with a few more friends.  And we saw many kilts, banners, flags, and Irish sweaters, to say the least.  I was so surprised to see that people come from just about anywhere to see this parade (not that I blame them, it was a very good parade!); we saw marchers from places far away, like California and Florida.  It was beautiful weather for walking too!  I left the long sleeves at home and let the sun be my jacket for the day, instead of the bright green hoodies that filled the city and moved in rhythm with the bagpipes.

Dreaming in the afternoon

Napping is a guilty pleasure of mine.  If I were to place it on a list of guilty pleasures it would fall right between chocolate covered strawberries and Gilbert's late night milkshakes.  I always used to poke fun at a friend of mine for napping.  I thought it was a waste of time.  I still do.  But the temptation is just too much!  After my 8am class I look forward to sliding back into bed, under the sheets, hiding from the world.  Morning naps are always best and I feel less guilty about wasting that time because I figure that if I didn't have that 8am class I would be sleeping anyway.  But there is no justification for an afternoon nap.  Plenty of people would say there is, but I tend to think my time could be better spent reading, writing, going for a jog, catching up with people (If you laughed at "going for a jog," you are getting to know me quite well).  There are only certain days where a nap is acceptable.  The first would be days where I am feeling a little under the weather.  The second would be if I stayed up really late the night before doing work.  And the third would be if it rains all day.  Yes, I know the third reason seems like a cop out.  Yet, there is something soothing and sleepy about the day when the window glistens with rain drops and the air is heavy.  The sky takes on a dark gradient, almost pulling down the window shade for you, saying go ahead, stay nice and warm under the covers and come outside when the sun returns.   

Ashes

There were a few Ash Wednesdays, when I was a child, when I would be embarrassed of the ashes smeared on my forehead.  The big black mark branding me Catholic.  I felt as if I was exposed and different from everyone else.  I wouldn't dare touch them though.  I was afraid to rub them off because I knew they were important and I knew that God, along with other people in my life, would disapprove.  Well, I have learned a lot in the past few months.  Beginning college has been an eye opener on so many levels and, looking back, I think that I always took faith for granted.  It just co-existed with me, walking along the same path side-by-side without ever holding hands.  I have realized that being a Catholic means so much more to me than I ever thought it would.  My senior year in high school, my religion teacher said, "Show of hands, who knows that God is a part of their identity."  I raised my hand, yet in the back of my mind there was a gnawing doubt.  I didn't really know if God was a part of my identity, I just thought that He was.  Well, now I know.  In dark times He was my light and I have asked and received.  He is a part of me and I hope to express that part of me each and every day of my life.  Today, I will be receiving ashes.  I hope the mark is dark and distracting.  And I hope people ask why I have a mark on my forehead, so I can tell them how it identifies me and how proud I am to wear it. 

Strawberry Yogurt

I think I need to start watching my weight.  No, not start watching it,  I have been watching it just fine, creeping up the ticks of the scale.  Well, I think I need to take action.  The other day I asked someone if her scale is faulty.  Then I figured that I should subtract five pounds for clothing to get a more accurate read.  This has to stop.  I have always thought calorie counting is stupid.  There is no perfect size, no need to fit into those skinny jeans if you are happy.  Well, I'm not happy.  And I want a change.  Not a crazy diet or a ban on all my favorite foods, just add a little more exercise and cutting out those unhealthy eating habits of mine.  Tonight, I was craving a meatball sub.  A meatball sub at 10:41pm!  No, dinner is done and a meatball sub is not considered a dessert (at least not in my book).  So, I had a yogurt and I pretended to enjoy it.  And I was semi-proud of myself.  Semi because on one hand I avoided the temptation of junk food and on the other hand I know the only reason why I picked the yogurt was because it was the only thing left in my fridge. 

Thoughts.

I miss those cold winter nights of walking over to a warm bed.  Doing simple things, thinking I was desired by the rush of the wind.  And I thought much and much about the cold, but the spring is coming and I know the flowers will be blooming shortly.  So I anticipate the rain storms.  The ones to run out in and hold your arms wide open.  Feeling the drops drip off the edge of my hood, I can sing once again in the pouring rain and I don't regret running out into it.  To let it wash over me was simply meant to be.   Today, I enjoyed the rain.  We sang songs and jumped in puddles because our rain boots allowed us to do so.  And I ran out from my friend's big polka-dotted umbrella to feel the rain drench my hair and look up to the dark sky, full of tears.  Soon enough we made it back to our building and I was thankful for the dry room I entered.  Yet, I enjoy listening to the pouring rain tap my windows and the water droplets race down the windows.  

Sleepover!!

Sleepovers: the privilege for 12 year olds, the norm for high schoolers... and well, at college everyone lives on campus, so sleepovers with your girlfriends don't come often.  But last night was an exception, and two girlfriends and I stayed up late to watch my favorite Patrick Dempsey movie-- a romantic comedy, of course!  I am awful to watch movies with though because I always scream at the characters in the movie.  Don't do it!!  Marry him instead!!  I always laugh at the little parts of the movie too much, causing everyone else to miss the next line of the dialogue as well.  Oh well, good thing we weren't watching a twisted mystery or a thriller in which you need to hear every line so you can put all the pieces together before the movie ends.  The pieces here were simple:  three girls, one chick flick, tons of giggling and it all fits together for a great night.  

Karma

When I am on a lucky streak and everything seems to be going right, I feel undeserving.  Why me?  Do I really deserve any of the things I have been receiving lately over any one else?  Not really.  Although I am ecstatic over that high test grade, a deepening of a friendship, and my hard work being paid off, I carry around a little guilt for having these things.  All my life, everything has been served to me on a silver platter.  That is not to say that I haven't earned, accomplished, or worked hard for things-- I have.  But what I am saying is that the significant parts of my life have been dealt to me-- my family, my schooling, my country.  Sometimes, I think that there is an impending punishment, just waiting in the distance, eager to balance everything out.   

Divine Intervention

Every Tuesday and Thursday morning I drag myself to philosophy class.  I enjoy my classes and find immense pleasure in the work associated with them, all except this philosophy class.  The professor is friendly and very innovative, so that isn't really the problem.  I think it is just the subject in general.  I don't find interest in paradoxes, arguments, and word play (unless used in a literary sense).  Lately, my professor has been trying to disprove the existence of God.  Even though I disagree with his theory, it doesn't bother me because like to hear out the other side to an argument.  I would say that "everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion" but we learned that this is false and that when you disagree with someone they are considered wrong in your "belief box" so they really aren't entitled to their own opinion.  In this case, I rely on the profound words of Voltaire, "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."  Anyway, returning back to my original thoughts on my professor's goal in class,  today my professor tried disproving God's existence by saying, "God can't intervene with me using this clicker."  He threw the clicker in the air and then caught it in his hand with a swift motion, proud of his premise.  Needless to say, the clicker stopped working shortly after...