Pink Chair

There are some days when everything will go wrong.  Today would be a perfect example.  I managed to oversleep my alarm, run into conflict with a friend, catch a nasty cold, and lose my keys.  I think the stress has just been piling on top of me lately.  Weight after weight after weight.  At one point I couldn't take it anymore and managed to just break down.  In my dorm I have a pink chair.  It is famous or (if you look at it in another light) infamous for being the therapy chair on the 3rd floor.  The chair has hosted breakups, friend troubles, conflicts, and releasing those inner fears; all coming from the many people that come to sit and pour their hearts out.  ...I should charge per session.  Well, anyway this past week the pink chair has been in service to, unfortunately, none other than its owner.   

Things to do...

There are way too many things I have to do.  I have to send emails, look over work, plan meetings.   I always counted on lists to cover everything.  Once I wrote down a thing I had to do on a list, it was no longer hanging over my head and I didn't even have to think about it.  I was almost free from it.  Now I have too many lists.  So now I have lists hanging over my head and I just can't clear my mind of the many, many, many things that must be done.  Maybe, I'll do it all tomorrow... 



Apathy

It has been a rough week for me.  And that is all I really want to say.  I don't know whether I should dwell on things or let them settle or simmer inside of me.  Right now all my emotions are tied in a big knot behind my navel.  It is Saturday night.  And I am here sitting on my computer, wishing for either inspiration, motivation, or intrigue to grab a hold of me.  I'm dressed nicely though.  You never know when someone will show up unexpectedly at your doorstep, right?  Maybe I'll watch a mindless TV show.  Or I could do work for the upcoming week.  I hear some music two doors down, should I wander down the hall?  No, I don't think so.  Nothing seems appealing tonight.     

Send my regards

I'm missing the Ball tonight due to an unavoidable conflict.  Everyone will be getting ready.  Hairdryers humming, showers steaming, and the sound of heels click clacking down the hallway.  Yes, everyone will be getting ready for the Ball.  There will be a crisis a safety pin will undoubtedly solve and a dress that just won't zip without help from the girl next door.  There will be music blaring in the hall, preparing the girls to leave their armor and shields at the door, so they can dance with the perfect stranger.  A stranger who's real being is mostly a fabrication in the girls' minds.  And they will dance all night and when they leave the Ball the clicking of their heels will become softer in some directions and louder in others.         

Are we there yet?

Road trip! I like the big maps with all the roads in different colors. And the big green signs with the numbered exits. New Haven, CN? Whoops! Wrong way! Never listen to the gps over your own gut. We went to Saratoga Springs and saw the tallest building in the springs... not very tall, I guess NYC has spoiled me. And that diner we hit on the way home was the absolute worst. "Stale!" the waitress screamed at us when we tried picking a dessert. "Stale, Stale, Stale!" The cheesecake she let me pick was stale too, but we suffered through it anyway. The trip was a good one, nonetheless. Singing the lyrics to the most popular songs on the radio until we almost kill them, laughing at ourselves trying to figure out the details of the trip, and sharing many stories that wouldn't have come out if we weren't in the car together for four hours. Ah! This is the life! The big open road with oh so many directions! Road trips made me feel like I was in an old Chevy commericial with a rusty ol' truck and "Ain't That America" playing in the background. Yes, that's the precise feeling. Not only am I American but I feel American.

Sweat and Soy Sauce

They should add some fine print when it comes to providing the good reasons of working out.  Often, my Zumba classes will relieve stress and make me feel like I accomplished something productive during the day.  The downside-- my appetite afterwards.  There have been a few times where a few girlfriends and I have come back from the gym and decided to grab a bite to eat.  They all chose salads.  Me?  Oh yes, I'll have the General Tao with the chicken lo mein please.  After all, I deserve it right?  I worked hard, sweated for an hour or two.  And there is my problem.  So lately, I have decided to give up on working out all together.  Not such a good idea.  Maybe I should have a different outlook.  And nowhere in this new outlook is giving up on exercise...or Chinese food for that matter.  Working out should serve the purpose of keeping status quo.  Now doesn't that sound like something you would read from a fortune cookie? 

Sleepless in New York

I can't seem to fall asleep.  Right now I am clicking the keys as quietly as possible because I don't want to wake anybody else up.  The worst part is wanting to sleep but not being able to.  Laying on my back thinking of tired scenarios of tomorrow, turning to my side to make wishes I hope will come true by the end of the week, then laying flat on my stomach to surrender to my dreams.  Even then I still won't sleep, so I turn to my clock and grow angry at the slipping minutes of sleep that escape my weary eyes.  12:18 am.  At least it isn't 1 am yet.  I still have what? 8 hours? 9? What is the average hours of sleep someone needs? 7 right?  Yes, I still have time.