Send my regards

I'm missing the Ball tonight due to an unavoidable conflict.  Everyone will be getting ready.  Hairdryers humming, showers steaming, and the sound of heels click clacking down the hallway.  Yes, everyone will be getting ready for the Ball.  There will be a crisis a safety pin will undoubtedly solve and a dress that just won't zip without help from the girl next door.  There will be music blaring in the hall, preparing the girls to leave their armor and shields at the door, so they can dance with the perfect stranger.  A stranger who's real being is mostly a fabrication in the girls' minds.  And they will dance all night and when they leave the Ball the clicking of their heels will become softer in some directions and louder in others.         

Are we there yet?

Road trip! I like the big maps with all the roads in different colors. And the big green signs with the numbered exits. New Haven, CN? Whoops! Wrong way! Never listen to the gps over your own gut. We went to Saratoga Springs and saw the tallest building in the springs... not very tall, I guess NYC has spoiled me. And that diner we hit on the way home was the absolute worst. "Stale!" the waitress screamed at us when we tried picking a dessert. "Stale, Stale, Stale!" The cheesecake she let me pick was stale too, but we suffered through it anyway. The trip was a good one, nonetheless. Singing the lyrics to the most popular songs on the radio until we almost kill them, laughing at ourselves trying to figure out the details of the trip, and sharing many stories that wouldn't have come out if we weren't in the car together for four hours. Ah! This is the life! The big open road with oh so many directions! Road trips made me feel like I was in an old Chevy commericial with a rusty ol' truck and "Ain't That America" playing in the background. Yes, that's the precise feeling. Not only am I American but I feel American.

Sweat and Soy Sauce

They should add some fine print when it comes to providing the good reasons of working out.  Often, my Zumba classes will relieve stress and make me feel like I accomplished something productive during the day.  The downside-- my appetite afterwards.  There have been a few times where a few girlfriends and I have come back from the gym and decided to grab a bite to eat.  They all chose salads.  Me?  Oh yes, I'll have the General Tao with the chicken lo mein please.  After all, I deserve it right?  I worked hard, sweated for an hour or two.  And there is my problem.  So lately, I have decided to give up on working out all together.  Not such a good idea.  Maybe I should have a different outlook.  And nowhere in this new outlook is giving up on exercise...or Chinese food for that matter.  Working out should serve the purpose of keeping status quo.  Now doesn't that sound like something you would read from a fortune cookie? 

Sleepless in New York

I can't seem to fall asleep.  Right now I am clicking the keys as quietly as possible because I don't want to wake anybody else up.  The worst part is wanting to sleep but not being able to.  Laying on my back thinking of tired scenarios of tomorrow, turning to my side to make wishes I hope will come true by the end of the week, then laying flat on my stomach to surrender to my dreams.  Even then I still won't sleep, so I turn to my clock and grow angry at the slipping minutes of sleep that escape my weary eyes.  12:18 am.  At least it isn't 1 am yet.  I still have what? 8 hours? 9? What is the average hours of sleep someone needs? 7 right?  Yes, I still have time. 

Empty box of chocolates

Sulk, mope, wallow in self-pity, call it whatever you want, but I think that everyone is entitled to it. So I spent my night doing exactly that. Sounds sad and pathetic, sure, go ahead and make your judgement-- but deep down you know you've been there; sitting on the couch stuffing your mouth with as much chocolate as Lucille Ball did in that I Love Lucy episode. So I'll be here sulking, wallowing, and rationalizing my current behavior, while other people out there are experiencing the best or worst night of their life. But for all those in-betweens tonight who are enjoying re-runs of NCIS or Cops, don't forget the icecream in the freezer when midnight rolls around.

Lazy day

Sure, there are plenty of things I could be doing right now.  I could be finishing a project, working on some paperwork, or doing a few things around the house that I have evaded for months.  But I really have no energy to do any of it.  That's not to say I enjoy being bored because I most certainly don't, but sometimes there comes a point where doing nothing sounds better than doing something.  The worst part is the thinking that comes with the nothing.  I think about the time I have wasted, what I should be doing, what I could be doing, what I will be doing 10, 15, 30 years from now.  And then I hide under the blankets and wait for tomorrow when I am too busy to think at all. 

Happy New Year!

I hope the first day of 2011 has brought everyone joy and excitement.  Although today, for me, has been quite easy going physically (my day has consisted of finishing off a book and lounging around with my family), it has been quite a day mentally.  Usually, I don't put any weight into New Year's resolutions, mainly because if I do end up making one I won't keep it.  However, I was watching the local news and a reporter was asking people outside a supermarket what there New Year's resolutions were.  Some said they wanted to be better people. Others that they were going to quit smoking or stick to a diet.  One girl, perhaps a year or two younger than me, said that she wasn't going to make one because she knew she wouldn't abide by it.  And although this would have been my answer to the reporter if I was asked, something about the girl's answer sounded foolish.  Before the segment ended, the reporter asked an elderly man, probably in his eighties, what his resolution was and he said that his New Year's resolution was to be able to be healthy and live long enough to make a New Year's resolution next year.  That's all he wanted!  He just wanted to live.  Well I hope that 2011 treats him well and he is able to keep that resolution.  So after hearing the segment, I changed my mind and decided to make my own resolution: a new outlook for the year of 2011, I hope to always keep in mind how fortunate I am to be healthy and loved in the upcoming year.  May the new year bring you health, love, and happiness!